I came across this picture a while back and saved it on my computer. I look at it quite often, it has become one of my personal mantras that I repeat to myself sometimes: Everything you want is on the other side of fear, everything you want is on the other side of fear, everything you want is on the other side of fear. The trouble with that is that there are no instructions on how to get to the other side of fear.
Fear has been pretty all consuming in my life lately (and I have actually been writing this post for about a month – I’ve been too scared to finish... is this irony?). Today seems to be the day that I have just simply lost patience with fear and decided that I can either keep moving forward or give up completely. Luckily, I’ve come pretty far just to call it quits (as tempting as it may seem).
After a few weeks of silence, I bet you are all wondering, "what happened?!" At least I used to be apologetic about not posting, but this has been radio silence. Okay, the odd post about the show, but nothing of what has been happening with my writing or inspiration. To be frank, it was because I have been overwhelmed by fear. Yup. Fear. My most common response when people have asked me how I'm doing is “I'm terrified”; constantly terrified. Of what? Who knows?! Life, love, failure, the future... you name it. I have been able to ascertain that most of the fear stems from the launch of Homestead and the opening of Empty Boxes. There have been other life-things that have been sweeping through my life culminating in a perfect storm of things that send me into hibernation to the point where I refuse to leave my house each day or acknowledge the responsibilities I have (relationships, family, birthdays, unemployment, etc.). "I don't wanna" has become my daily motto and the ostrich hiding in the sand, my mascot. Not the best way to approach life when you are standing on the cusp of many great things, but with the potential for great success comes the potential for great failure; it's just the other side of the coin. And with the potential for great failure comes a wave of soul-crushing fear. So, that's why I haven't been writing and that's what this post is about: fear.